musings

I've been staying at a friend's house the last few weeks while I look for work here in CA.  I don't have cable or TV set up at home because I really feel that there are better things  I should be doing with my time.  Now that doesn't stop me from watching television programs online, just watching them at the specific time slot the network assigns.  So while here I was flipping through channels and saw some video footage on the news about a man who killed his child.  These people infuriate me.  The idea that you would shoot your own child is so appalling to me, I don't think that I ever really thought about it until that moment.  It saddens me to think that so many of us who would love and cherish our children, could we have them miss out on the opportunity to love and watch a child grow,while people like this man, can have all the children he wants and cares so little he kills his child.

Another moment of watching TV brought me to TLC.  This was an episode of "I didn't know I was pregnant."  First off that's kind of interesting, not to know you are pregnant, but I do know that it is possible.  What got me was that the woman had PCOS and told her husband that she couldn't get pregnant.  There is a big difference between "I can't get pregnant," and "it's not likely that I'll get pregnant."  OK so to those of you out there that are not quite sure how sane I am when I make a statement like that, I have to say it may be a question of semantics to you but to those of us struggling with hope it is worlds different.  To tell me I can't get pregnant is blatantly incorrect.  I've been pregnant, I've miscarried, I've given birth.  It is just more difficult for me to get pregnant without assistance. I think this episode may be misleading to those who either just found out they have PCOS, or have known and are still trying to understand what it means to them long term.  It might give them the idea that this one woman was special and it won't or can't happen to them.  that isn't necessarily true.  My doctors have been wrong about so many things with me they have stopped assuming what the problem is and have moved on to looking for definitive answers where they can find them.    Hope is out there for all of us.  These two instances of TV watching leads me to question if what my grandmother used to say is right... television rots the brain.  Good night to all of you and I hope to write again soon. 

Jen