Feeling the pain and looking forward to better times.

I need a hug... make that lots of hugs.

In so many of my posts I have written about maintaining hope and staying positive.  We all know how hard it is to stay positive.  The last couple of days have been difficult for me and I felt that maybe this would be a good time to let you know that my life is not all sunshine and roses.  My mom has been dealing with some health challenges and the big C came up and I freaked.  I'm trying to remain calm and make sure my mom is OK and gets the best information I have over 20 years of experience in admin, sprinkled with some management experience, business ownership experience and lots more.  Unfortunately I'm getting some recruiters treating me like I have nothing to offer and as if I was little more than something stuck to the bottom of their shoe that needs to be scraped off.  I have one recruiter who has taken the time to speak with me and ask some in depth questions and manage to not make me feel like an inexperienced buffoon.  The next layer is coated with some wonderful gluten free foods that I may actually be allergic to.  The sad part is that I made that gluten free food.  I made some pomegranate cupcakes with some premixed gluten free all purpose flour and after eating one I found myself wheezing and struggling to get my lungs full of air.  Needless to say there went my comfort food for this week.  Up went the frustration because I haven't any other comfort food to eat at home.  Now for the topping on this depressingly sad cake - I'm feeling that need for children again (not that it ever really went away); unfortunately right now it is a constant ache that has come to the forefront.  I find myself in tears and saddened for my losses and for all that we could have and offer to a child.  With my mind going in so many different directions I find it hard to find the positive attitude that so often is a part of who I am.  I know that things will get better and that this too shall pass, however, it is little comfort to me now. 

Here's to all of you who are lost in the maze of hurt and still seeking a way out.  Let's forget about the party once we get out of this maze of horror and start one right now.  Anyone willing to celebrate the good times of the past and the good time to come now while we are quite unhappy sound off.  let me know and we can celebrate together.

Here's looking forward,

Jen