Over the last few posts I realized how depressing my posts are. I know, I know. The subject is depressing… well not all of it was. Here are a few quick stories from our IVF experience. Please feel free to laugh.
For our first retrieval cycle we went to Las Vegas. Not to gamble but because that’s where the doctor’s office was. At this point I was feeling incredibly swollen and uncomfortable and we really hadn’t thought out our plan for the stay very well. The car we rented smelled like wet dog and cigarette smoke rolled up with some sort of air freshener. I actually got sick to my stomach every time I sat in the car. We decided to go cheap so we stayed at a little casino/hotel on the strip for everyday before retrieval and booked the remainder of the trip with our time share condo. Going into the O.R. for retrieval I was nervous as most people in that situation would be. Then my anesthesiologist came in and life was great. Turns out I had about 50 follicles. I didn’t feel the pain until about 2 hours after I left the doctor’s office. And boy did I feel uncomfortable. I felt as though I had swollen to twice my normal size. The road we had to take to get to the condo was under construction so we hit more potholes than I had ever seen put together. Every bump and jostle was exaggerated exponentially. (I was asked to let you all know that I was not actually writhing in pain I was actually still feeling ok from the drugs, I just felt huge. I laughed so hard as my husband apologized for every bump we hit that I actually had tears streaming down my face.) My poor husband tried to do so much to make it more comfortable for me. It took us 20 minutes to navigate the driveway and parking lot and that’s before I even got out of the car. ;)
By day 2 I thought there was something wrong with me and called the doctor thinking I was going to die. When I saw him he did an ultrasound and asked me some questions and told me that my ovaries were “about this big” (putting his hands about 5 ½ “apart). Apparently poking at your ovaries causes them to swell. Who’d have thunk? Feeling emotionally relieved we went back to the condo and I drank lots of water and some Gatorade. The next day I felt worse yet and it wasn’t until I threw up that I felt better. Ahhh, peace at last.
Ok so maybe that wasn’t as funny as it could have been in the retelling of it but as I sit and think about all the things that happened on that trip, how naïve I was and how far I’ve come since I can’t help but laugh.
So here’s another I’ll never forget…
We were back in Las Vegas for a transfer. We finally figured out we could rent an efficiency apt. for lots less than a hotel room and hey there’s a kitchen so we can save on eating out. Two days after the transfer we were on our way to San Diego to visit some friends. While we were heading out of Vegas, I realized it was almost time for one of my shots. I told my husband and he pulled over at a Del Taco by the huge thermometer on the road out of town. We both go in to wash up, I go back to the car to find that he has a large cola, a quesadilla, and a taco. I thought maybe he’s just hungry. So I ask him how we are going to administer the shot (it was an intramuscular shot to the backside). He says “let’s ice it up while I get the shot prepped” and he hands me the cola. I looked at it and looked at him and thought hmm I guess that could work. I put the cup to my backside and after about 5 minutes noticed I was not getting numb just wet from the condensation. I let him know that it’s not working and he says “just put it between your pants and your behind that should make it numb.” I raise my eyebrows at him and roll my eyes but figure well I don’t have many options. So in the pants goes the soda. He then opens the back of the rental SUV and tells me to bend over and drop my pants. Let me remind you that we are in a parking lot of a fast food restaurant that overlooks interstate 15. I pull the soda out so I don’t wear it, put it back in the cup holder and bend over the back seat. I drop my pants a couple of inches trying desperately to cling to some bit of modesty. My husband grabs my pants and pulls them down farther so they almost fall off. He apparently could not reach the spot for the injection with my pants in the way. He wipes the spot with the alcohol prep, slaps the spot, and jabs me in the rear with the injection. Being the big baby I am I started crying and I’m embarrassed to say wailing. Meanwhile people are still pulling into the parking lot and getting their Mexican food and driving off again heedless of my screams. My husband pulls out the needle and slaps the quesadilla on my behind, then pulls up my pants to hold it in place. (I was wondering where he got the heating pad and why it was wrapped in paper.) When we got in the car and started to drive off I realized the quesadilla was in my pants and through sniffles and tears from what I deemed mistreatment of a daily ritual (my shots) I said, “I want a chai.” I sniffed some more and my husband denied me nothing. ;) chai lattes from Starbucks are my true beverage weakness. We laugh about that evening whenever we see a Del Taco, a quesadilla or think about Las Vegas. Hehe.. hugs to you all and hope enjoyed my stories. No matter how crazy things get we still find silly things to laugh about.
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